Things cartoons have taught me

1)   Violence is amusing.
2)   Actually, violence is pretty damn funny.
3)   Take the left turn at Albuquerque.

And I did. Went south from Denver to Albuquerque, then left (east) toward Texas, and I’m writing this as I make my way toward Dallas and Austin.

But back to the original point, I spent a bit over a day in Albuquerque and I’m pretty glad I decided to make it a stopover point. Not that it was an amazing place by any standard, but it is a nice change of pace to stay somewhere a little more quiet than the big cities, and the sites and people were great.

I got into town at about 4 am and since the hostel reception wasn’t going to be open for a few hours I ended up sleeping in the bus terminal for a little while. I think I can now officially be considered homeless. Anyways, the early hours of the morning in the desert suck. It’s COLD! At breakfast I was rugged up in a thick hoodie, and then in the middle of the day I was in shorts and t-shirt and disgustingly sweaty.

Anyways, after checking in I headed for the Old Town, the original settlement area of Albuquerque, with lots of those old central-American type sandy coloured buildings… I guess they’re made similar to mud bricks, but they’re solid walls rather than bricks. Wow, terrible description. Just look at the pics below:

Oh and the Spanish fail again. Here’s a history lesson for you; New Mexico was originally known as New Spain. Maybe the people of ‘New Spain’ didn’t want to be associated with the uhhh… c_lever_ folk who think a great name for a state would be ‘Colour Red’.

Dumb souvenirs are everywhere, and Albuquerque is no exception. Who wouldn’t want a garden gnome Mexican guy with a cactus erection?

Here’s some more interesting information about Albuquerque. New Mexicans love to hula hoop, so much so they have become a road hazard to look out for.

All this awesome sunny weather and blue skies has me sporting a bitchin’ tan, although I’m still not quite as bronzed as some of the locals I’ve been chilling with.

Went to the Museum of Natural History and Science to get my geek on and to gawk at dinosaur bones. You know why? Because dinosaurs are badass. Or is that were badass?

See, totally badass.

And a bit of trivia for you all (except mum and dad who knew all too well how much of a dumb kid I was), when I was real young I wanted oh so badly to become a palaeontologist. And if you don’t know what that is, it’s this guy:

I wanted to be that dude?

They also had an exhibit on space. Mostly all the usual stuff you expect, memorabilia, the little capsule they put that chimp into when they shot the poor little fella into space, rockets, framed pieces of rock that are apparently important because some astronaut took it into space FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON, replica of the Mars rover, etc. I also learned about Uranus:

Uranus is tilted and blue. Might wanna get that checked out

On the tele

After this I went to another museum, this time the Rattlesnake Museum. It was a little more like “loony local guy keeps rattlesnakes in fish tanks and houses about 15 of the things in a little shed.” Whatever, it was totally worth my five bucks, if only for the awesome Certificate of Bravery.

And to round out the day, in typical backpacker fashion I went with a bunch of rad people from the hostel into town to sink cheap and nasty beer, play a few rounds of pool and to talk absolute crap for a few hours. ‘Twas a great night.

Oh, and the things that happen when you catch the Greyhound: As we were getting on the bus in Albuquerque to head toward Texas, the baggage handlers discover two suitcases packed full of vacuum-sealed weed.

Now I’m expecting to arrive in Dallas at 4am. Hello sleeping on benches again!

Written on August 12, 2010